Hillsboro, Illinois
Population: 4,359
Area: 5.3 Square Miles
County: Montgomery County (County Seat, bitches)
Cast Members: Your Intrepid Blogger
Here's what I found most interesting about Hillsboro- there really wasn't anything uniquely interesting about it. That sounds like a back-handed compliment, and since I'm a dick, I meant it too. But it's not really that Hillsboro WASN'T interesting- it's just that it was interesting in how much I recognized there from other small towns, or my home town, or Springfield, or even Chicago.
Of course, part of this was because I went there on the night of a rather national event. See, I was there on Thursday, July 14, 2011.
AWWWW YEAH. HARRY POTTER AND THE 7 DEADLY HALLOWS.
Now, take a look at the little set up Hillsboro had going on for the movie.
(Yes, they tried to mock up Platform 7 3/4. Fucking MVP.)
I think it looks pretty fun, but yeah, not anything you can't see anywhere else. And that's kind of my point: this was a shared experience, kids in Hillsboro were doing the same thing thing as kids in Chicago, or Houston, or New York City. I mean, the people in this line, they didn't even want to talk about Hillsboro, they wanted to talk about Harry Potter (and call the cops on the guy just taking innocent pictures. Of children dressed as wizards.) And I like that. It's weird for the blog, 'cause I thought this was going to be all about finding out what makes these towns unique and special and a place people choose to live over any other town, but I like it. I dunno, I just take some comfort knowing that folks are the same all over.
The human mind naturally tries to find patterns, and things very rarely fit easily into such patterns. But, after I took in the Harry Potter stuff, everywhere I looked I saw...well, stuff I recognized. What was nice, though,was that a lot of it existed side-by-side with stuff that I knew was unique to Hillsboro. For example, turn just 180 degrees from the McDonalds...
...and you see this:
(That reads: Cozy Cafe. It served burgers, just like Mickey D's. Somehow, they made peace.)
On one street, there's an old pharmacy that CVS clearly raped and pillaged:
But on the next street, there's a kind of classic old pharmacy.
(I had no idea the pharmacy delivery was EVER a thing, but this one keeps the torch burning.)
And even some of the unique stuff fit into familiar patterns. For instance, Hillsboro had the requisite ethnic food: Italian, Chinese, and Mexican.
(That says "Mexican Restaurant". In English. Don't blame immigrant, blame your Intrepid Blogger.)
And hell, even THIS guy was around!
So, in terms of figuring out why people lived in Hillsboro as opposed to anywhere else, well, I failed. But I did manage to put this whole project in perspective, and see that all of these places are only going to be so unique, there's more we have in common than in dispute, and a whole lot of other rah-rah-Barack-Obama-no-red-states-and-blue-states-bullshit.
But that Thursday night, I believed it.
Some other notes about Hillsboro:
1) Dude, as far as names go? NAILED IT.
This is the sight right as you pull into town. I kinda love it.
2) I really wanted to eat at this place called Church Street, 'cause it was a pub in an old church. Plus, look at the sign: it made some lofty promises.
EVERY time? I LIKE THOSE ODDS!
But, it was not to be:
I won't forget that you lied to me, Church Street.
(Instead, I got McDonald's. At least I'm consistent with my theme.)
3) Behold, ye mere mortals, the seedy underbelly of Hillsboro.
FEEL THE URBAN DECAY.
4) I think I've found my true career calling:
5) Hillsboro doesn't really appreciate your nosy questions, Mr. Population Counter.
6) New Blog Feature: The local newspaper, mostly for Friend of the Blog Jeremy Pelzer. LOOK, IT'S THE HILLSBORO WHATEVER.
7) What the hell could this building POSSIBLY be?
Next up on the blog: Chestnut, Illinois, the geographic center of the state. It's just like the 4 Corners out west, only with more antiquing.
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